>.> <.< >.>

So yeah, I've TOTES been posting continually, ne? Ne? Oh fine, so I haven't been. It's rare that I find both the time and the posting atmosphere in a simultaneous location...maybe I should try bottling them and mixing/distilling when I think another update needs to be done? Maybe I could do that for others, and charge for my brewing services~ /useless, not-really-that-desired-fantasy.

I'm feeling pretty terrible for a handful of reasons right now. Let's see if I can succeed in recounting them (50 to 1 says I can't remember them all xD~)

Let's get the most boring and obvious out of the way first, shall we~ We're now at the end of the first week of uni, 2011. Every moment I've been either at campus or en route to/from it, I've mostly had one sentence buzzing in my head: "You didn't get into JET." Wow, if I could acquire a fly spray that could rid THAT pest for me, I'd be pretty damn thankful. Ah, there it goes again. -_-;; Aside from that, I've had several atmospheric layers of pressure placed upon me regarding this DipEd. I'm worried not only about being ready for whole weeks of placement in high schools beginning week 5, but also about making a career of education. I like to think and hope that my daily experiences, genuflections, and random activities like GMing weekly roleplays will help make me a better teacher (actually, I'd be satisfied with just being a better person *shrug*) but you can't really know until you're out in the field, so to speak/type.

The other major downer for me recently has been the lack of Halfling's absence. Korner's different. Uni's different. The city's different. Roleplaying is different. Different in the not-that-great way. I had to watched Fellowship of the Ring last weekend so I could get a dose of hobbit, and naturally, that wasn't the same. Hafurin, I dunno how you'll take reading this, but I cried a lot in the days before you left us, because a part of me is scared you won't be returning. I want to tear that part out and burn it with some form of acidic flame, but I'm worried it might be my liver >.<>

Another thing has been keeping me in the low self-esteem bracket for weeks...When conversing with some young children, I explained something by saying that I'm a terrible person, somewhat jokingly, and a close friend whose opinion I greatly respect responded with "Just a bit, yeah." Problem is, it didn't come across to me ears as joking or light-hearted, and even if it HAD, I'd still feel pretty damn pathetic...T_T

Now for updates/messages regarding people who shall be anonymous for the purpose of this post~

Firstly...I really regret the behaviour I exhibited that handful of times, and I still can't explain myself justifiably. I can at least say it'll never happen again (and more importantly, it wasn't because of any untoward feelings in the first place), but that doesn't mean I can account for why in the first place ^^;

Secondly, hullo person who doesn't know I'm actually talking to them~ I still have feelings for ya, and I'm having a more difficult time figuring out if I wanna try and make a thing of that, now that friends are leaving. Maybe best to remain friends, seeing as there's so few left? Sigh, I dunno.

Thirdly, and hopefully finally for this entry, meeting someone new next weekend. Guess there's not really much to actually say here; I just wanted to make at least a minimal mention of it in this post I guess *shrug*


Night people~ <4<4<4<4